Catching up :)

Wow, Easter was the last time i put up a post? *sigh* i will get more on board with this blogging thing, I'm sure of it!! ;)
Anyhow, sooo much has been going on.  I can't hardly comprehend how different our lives are about to be.  The emotions we will go through, the difficulties.  All to help out children in need.  I grew up and my parents were foster parents. I remember being greedy and asking " when are we going to be a normal family" . Now i look back and think, how selfish of me lol I guess in my mind then, i didn't like the coming and going of these kids.  And here i am, about to start on that journey again.  July 24 is the baby's due date. Sadly, she really has nobody here to go to the hospital with her when the baby is born.  So i will go, if its doable. Obviously if its a Wednesday at noon clearly I'm not taking my kids to the hospital with me. 
I'm really looking forward to starting this journey.  So many steps to be taken,so many things these people look into about your life. (sexual partners...for real, they want to know this!!) But for now, we've taken the less invasive route, called kinship care. less paper work,but the same as foster care.  Less of a home study.   In the fall we will officially be foster parents, its quite a lengthy process but apparently doing kinship care first, will help us along the way. 
Now I'm sure many people wonder why we've decided to go the route of becoming foster parents. No,its not to follow in my parents footsteps ;) although i will be looking to them for guidance in this as they've been thru it all. 
And now this post gets hard for me.
After Shannay was born, i held off on my checkup. For a year. Last July my doctor told me, or advised me rather, that i should not have more children.  The problems i had with Shannay were very hard on my body and basically, if i have another baby, i would die. I know, pretty drastic.  I struggled with this for a long time.  A very long time.  Even now i write this, teary eyed.  No more kids? really? i mean, for now, we figured we were set for kids.  Wait until they are a bit older before having another. But then to be told you cant have anymore? It was devastating for me.
Then, in November (?) I'm not sure exactly when. Someone from Hendrik's work came to him for help. His girlfriend was pregnant and he was filing for sole custody and needed someone to watch the baby for him while he was at work. Just during the day. Could we help him out? Oh could we ever!!!! I was thrilled!! newborn baby, no c section, i could sleep at night..lol it was almost as good as having my own!!(OK not quite ) Anyways, obviously its not working out quite as he wanted and hes kind of not so involved. anyways, that's a whole other story that I'm not sure I'm even allowed to talk about. 
So, basically, if i cant have more children, and there are others out there having kids and cant care for them, I'll do it. Gladly.  Any child that comes into my home,will be loved and treated like one of my own. And I'm aware that these children are not mine to keep, and may end up leaving my home.  Being the emotional person that i am, i know i will have a hard time when that time comes.
All in all we're going to need many prayers and support through all this.  As I'm sure we will be getting.
To end this post i am going to post some pictures, as I'm feeling sentimental <3

 The day before Shannay was born.  I have no pictures of me pregnant with royson as i felt like a big ol cow. lol Hind sight. i wish i had some. 

My babies the day they were born <3

Yes he is wearing the same shirt with both kids. Totally unplanned,but funny when we realized it :)

                                                                 Oh how i love these two <3

I'm sure i could post so many pictures on how similar these two are. I'll save that for another blog post :)
Till next time :) xoxo
Me :)